Moviemaker Kevin Smith mugged me last weekend, and I ain’t even mad about it.
The year was 1994, and I was among a handful of undergrads at the artwork cinema in Colonial Williamsburg attending the late-evening screening of an ultra-reduced-spending budget indie film that had garnered buzz on Usenet teams (the primitive precursor to modern world-wide-web message boards) after being picked up at Sundance by Harvey Weinstein (back when that was regarded a beneficial factor). The grainy black-and-white visuals were being absolutely nothing to produce dwelling about, but I was promptly captivated by the uncooked performances and lewd however literate dialogue the actuality that it was set in a New Jersey suburb comparable to my possess household turf didn’t damage.
Ever given that that first screening of Clerks, I have been all-in on the job of writer/director/actor/merchandiser Kevin Smith, seeing every single 1 of his View Askewniverse flicks in a 1st-operate theater (except for the current Jay & Silent Bob Reboot, which is streaming on Amazon). I was there in 2002 when he headlined MegaCon his “hetero lifemate” Jason Mewes was absent from the visual appearance, so Smith filled the two-hour slot solo by telling the prolonged story of his infamous Superman Lives script. I was there once again in 2013 when his roadshow tour of Jay & Silent Bob’s Super-Groovy Cartoon Film performed to a packed dwelling at the Plaza Dwell. And I have expended many pounds on his DVDs and comic books in the intervening many years, even building a pilgrimage to his lately relocated Magic formula Stash keep in Crimson Lender.
His haters glibly jab Kevin Smith for repeatedly recycling and reselling his juvenile obsessions to guileless enthusiasts if so, he is basically following in the footsteps of fellow franchise-founding auteurs like George Lucas, Gene Roddenberry and Stan Lee, who launched his lauded cameo profession in Smith’s Mallrats. And further than birthing Gen X’s answer to Cheech & Chong, Smith is also by all accounts a mensch who has remained loyal to his lifelong friends — from A-listers like Ben Affleck on down — all over their general public travails, when sustaining an unusually drama-free of charge property life by Hollywood standards.
So when I heard that a pop-up version of Mooby’s, the spoof rapid-meals chain highlighted in Dogma and Clerks II, would be environment up momentary digs inside a portion of Tin Roof Orlando at Icon Park, my 1st response was “just take my income, but all over again.” Immediately after signing up for early dibs on the limited tickets, I was at first taken aback by the pricing: $29 for every individual for admission and a “moo primary” entree sandwich with “salt licker” facet failed to sound unreasonable, but soon after incorporating a single alcoholic beverage, a soda and a collectible cardboard box, ticketing and get expenses brought the complete bill for two with suggestion to a cow-choking $109. In point, my remaining receipt was so absurdly steep, I like to consider of it as Smith’s Banksy-esque satire on runaway capitalism.
My problems about the value clearly didn’t protect against me from punching in my credit history card figures, and seemingly I wasn’t alone — the reservation-only party offered perfectly enough to increase 4 excess days as a result of March 25. (Go to exploretock.com/moobysorlando for tickets.) In fact, not even the terrifying website traffic all around the I-Generate complex’s parking garage (wherever I practically died upon entry and exit), nor the socially un-distanced spring crack crowd crawling across its grounds, could keep me from my Saturday night appointment with the Golden Calf.
The good news is, the food turned out to be much greater than I always imagined Mooby’s food would style. My Cock Smoker fried chicken sandwich was considerably larger sized and thicker than something from Chick-fil-a the Past-centered Cow Tipper was amongst the tastiest vegan cheeseburgers I have tasted and the onion rings and “hater totz” were being better than common. Ideal of all, the venue was adorned inside of and out with selfie-prepared icons from Smith’s movies, from reproductions of the initial “I Assure YOU We are Open” banner and inflatable variations of Bluntman and Long-term to “Personnel of the Month” signals referencing obscure secondary figures.
Social media described that Smith himself appeared at the Orlando pop-up prior to my arrival, as did Brian “Dante Hicks” O’Halloran (who wasn’t “even intended to be here now”), but no celebs confirmed up throughout my time slot.
Just after about an hour of listening to the Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back again soundtrack (which however kicks some ass) though soaking up the atmosphere and grease with fellow Look at Askew aficionados, I headed house content and broke with a couple new parts of autographed memorabilia and an urge to rewatch Chasing Amy for the 100th time. Get in touch with me a sucker, connect with me a shill my souvenir Mooby’s mason jar (basically a cheap plastic cup with a peeling sticker) now sits proudly on my shelf, and the up coming time Smith shows up in Central Florida I’ll undoubtedly shell out to see him. Possibly then I’ll at last get the likelihood to give him a piece of my thoughts about substituting footage from Universal Hollywood’s Studio Tour for Orlando’s Jaws journey in the Mallrats finale.